I’m sorry…

I’m sorry… I sit and stare at you until you tell at me to stop.

I’m sorry… you say you love me and I look right thru you. I heard you and I love you back – I know you “need” to hear that, I sometimes forget in the moment.

I’m sorry… you needed a hug and you jumped in to get one and I moved you out of the way and continued the path I was on.

I’m sorry… you talk to me and I look over your shoulder and notice the stain that is on the curtain.

I’m sorry… the stain seems more important than what you were saying. I just don’t belong there and that disturbs my world. I’m sorry its not an excuse but more of an explanation I feel I owe to you.

I’m sorry… I snarled my lip at the surprise.

I’m sorry… I look at you when you conversate with me. I’m my mind I replied to you. I projected the thoughts threw the air. Unforchantly you and I don’t always speak the same language and all you see is me staring blankly at you. I attempted to convert my response to words but it just didn’t happen. Sometimes I can not find the words. Sometimes I forget the word. Sometimes echo meanless words I’ve heard elsewhere in a moment of panic like some verbal stage fright. Sometimes I’m too exhausted or too ignored. Other times I find it too much work or fear that it will lead to more talking or worse arguing. Many times I feel a response was not needed or the topic does not effect me enough to speak. Other times I feel like I’ve already said that and there’s no need in repeating it again.

I’m sorry… you looked at my screen without warning and I jumped and hit what I was writing. I’m not cheating on you or hiding things from you, necessarily I just caught me off guard. I was not expecting it.

I’m sorry… that I appear secretive and that bothers you. I love you and I share more with you than ANYONE ELSE. That itself is HUGE. Trust me when I say I need this privacy. I have a quirky little thing about allowing one person to know EVERYTHING. It just can not happen… I’d say I can tell you but then I’d have to kill you but that’s not true… but I would have to be extreme and unpredictable in order to do something you do NOT know to settle that imbalance void I MUST have!

I’m sorry… I do most of my talking at night when you are falling asleep.

I’m sorry… you say I’m sexy and I look at you funny.

I’m sorry… my face never aligns to my true feelings or mood.

I’m sorry… I’m so stubborn. Things have to make sense to me first.

I’m sorry… I pet the cat more than I do you. You are manly and rough the cat is soft and fluffy and never grabs or pets me in return. Again no excuse just explaining why it is what it is.

I’m sorry… I asked the same things several times.

I’m sorry… I’m sorry BUT

I’m not sorry I’m just being me!! If you want someone to do those things you will need to find someone else that is able to. But because you love some of the strange things I do (not listed above) that no normal chic can do!! I know you except me for me and I accept you for you – our flaws and all! 🙂

toon

Enuresis

Enuresis is urinating in places beside the potty. This has frustrated me for years. My son would pee everywhere. I thought we were alone, that we failed as parents. I was embarrassed and discussed of my house. We did our best to clean, clean, clean. But it seemed that it was never good enough. Ahh. I’m still trying to piece all of it together. He has since improved greatly. But our house is far from normal. We just learned that he has a form of Autism. Things have gotten so much better since we learned what the problem was by just making little changes.

 

Links:

Bedwetting: another autistic problem?

My Aspergers Child: Aspergers and Enuresis.

12 & peeing everywhere but in toilet

Bedwetting and Autism

An Older Aspie Mum

Different, but not Less

Tania A. Marshall, M.Sc.

Welcome to www.aspiengirl.com

Bridget Allen

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog

SQUIDALICIOUS

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog

Just Stimming...

A land we can share (a place I can map)

This is Autism Flash Blog

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog

From Obscurity

thoughts and experiences of a young autistic woman

Musings of an Aspie

one woman's thoughts about life on the spectrum

aspermama

thoughts from that weird mom at the playground

Rose with Thorns

Hope of recovery for all

80smetalman's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

catastraspie

A personal blog about having Asperger's

makingsensefromchaos

laugh so you don't cry

The Asperger Café

Pull up a chair, enjoy a specialty coffee, rearrange the cutlery... ;-)

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog

Aspertypical

Changing the Face of Autism

AspieOdyssey

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog

%d bloggers like this: