Adult: Sexual or nonsexual

“Sex is beautiful and natural and everyone wants to have sex so it’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

And I agree, sex is nothing to be ashamed of. But there’s one little detail there: not everyone wants sex or gets pleasure from it. They’re roughly 1% of the population. And with 7 billion people on the planet, 1% equals 70,000,000. Seventy million people is a lot of experiences to erase.

So, roughly 70,000,000 people on this planet don’t want sex. Or they want sex in certain contexts. Or they kind of sometimes want sex but not often. Or they have sex to satisfy a partner, but don’t get much out of it for themselves. Or they have a sex drive, just… not towards other people. Or they can’t stand the thought of sex.

And that’s okay too.

Sex positivity for me is accepting that whether you have sex a lot, or you never have sex, whether you have a million kinks or you can’t stand sex outside the missionary position, whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, sapiosexual, autosexual, objectumsexual, or asexual, the way you look at sex and attraction is valid and normal, as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

via I am. I am. I am.

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Sex. What’s the point?

For Adults Only

I don’t get what all the hype is about sex. I’ve heard that things get better as you get older but here I am knocking prime time’s door and I am less interested in sex than ever before.

When I have sex or think about it – I cringe. I feel uncomfortable and I have an urge to run like hell in the opposite direction. You know like the cat running from the horny skunk on that cartoon!

When I give in – I feel awkward. I feel it all (ekkk! so ignoring)  but not like ohhhh this is great – it’s more like a probing in out in out. Faking an orgasm… hell I’m lucky if I’m able to fake enjoyment. I find the probing so irritating and annoying that the more I say yes to sex the more I freaking hate sex and the more I don’t want to be with ANYONE.

Most of the time I find myself just spreading only to please him. I want him to be satisfied and men ‘need’ sex. After-all, I know if he don’t get it from home he will get it elsewhere.  But then I begin feeling bitter by doing something I totally hate and he’s not satisfying me in areas that are important to me. More times than none, anymore, I feel like giving up. I question why I go out of my way to satisfy him and keep him, when he does not do the same in return for me.

I dislike taking about it with others. I’ve tried that and it ends with some asshole making a smart ass remark to make or giving unwanted advice on how to fix myself. I know what an orgasm is. I can do it myself and I’ve experienced them during sex  but it really isn’t a feeling I run to get. Honestly I don’t think it has anything at all to do with me being broken. I think I just work differently (like I do in other areas of life) I think the stars and the moon need to line up in life for me to find that enjoyment.

When I’m not completely happy in life I one of two things either completely turned off by sex. Sex being totally undesirable and unpleasurable. Or I a sexaohlic with very little pleasure (but only when I control and have an interest). I don’t think it has much to do with him either. I know he can make it enjoyable. (Although the more he begs the less spontaneous I feel to approach him with a suprize)

Some interesting reads:

http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2008/01/aspies-and-sexuality.html

http://thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/2011/07/autism-and-orgasm.html

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